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Friday, September 25th, 2015 12:36 pm
It's been a really rough week. Lots of crying and postponed grief hitting me in waves again. Counseling seems to be doing E good, but it stirs up lots of emotions for me, and I'm not handling it well. I've been going into "shut down" mode a lot this past month where I just can't get myself to do anything other than survive. :P Oh well. This too will pass.

I took a few days off from the phone transfer business, but I finally downloaded that program that archives your phone, and I saved all the voicemails to itunes and our text message exchanges to pdf files, plus I found some random photos and notes and voice memos that I didn't see at first but were good to save. I'm going to try again to get the phones officially transferred tonight. I feel like this whole thing has been beating me up emotionally for the past 2 weeks, so I'm ready for it to just be over so I can move on.

On a slightly less mopey note, I also did one more adulty task this week - I got our tv/internet/phone service switched over to my name, and I canceled all of our movie channels that E and I never watch. That will save me $50 a month. Woohoo! And I think I'll save $25 a month from canceling Mike's phone, and I got a $30 a month raise this year, so that's an extra $100 or so in my pocket each month, which should help. August and September were brutal with all of the back to school expenses, and we ate out too much and I spent too much on school clothes for me and E, so I'm very grateful for every bit of extra money that I can get. Maybe I can stash some of that away every month and start saving for some more costuming trips. :)
Friday, September 25th, 2015 07:12 pm (UTC)
Sometimes just surviving is plenty good enough. Hooray on the extra money! Every little bit helps, for sure!
Friday, September 25th, 2015 09:29 pm (UTC)
Just surviving is totally fine, it's all you have to do right now and eventually things will get better. At least you've got some extra money! That's always nice and can be put to good fabric hoarding use!

Be sure to save all the phone stuff onto a flash drive or external harddrive or something like that as well! You'll definitely want a backup just in case. But that might be my computer paranoia talking, I have about four backups of pretty much every document and file I've ever had because I'm convinced something will break or crash.
Saturday, September 26th, 2015 01:06 am (UTC)
I'm so, so sorry hon. :(

Are you going into the cousiling with him? or is he alone and just talking about it when he comes out?

Deep hugs.

Yay for more $!
Sunday, September 27th, 2015 04:18 pm (UTC)
He talks to the counselor for the first part of the session alone, and then I come in and we do some stuff all together. Everything that we do is really aimed at helping E, but it always touches on my feelings and struggles too, I'm usually a wreck after it's over. He likes it and is always happy and in a good mood when we are done, but I'm a mess, and then I have to go back and face work all day, which sucks.
Sunday, September 27th, 2015 04:35 pm (UTC)
That sounds pretty tough and going back back to work sounds even harder. I'm sorry hon. :(
Sunday, September 27th, 2015 07:07 pm (UTC)
Can you tell the counselor privately what this is doing to you and see if they can make adjustments? It's great that it's good for E, but if it's making you worse and not better, that's no good. They may not know that it's making you a wreck.

I'm sorry it's been so hard. Big hugs.
Saturday, September 26th, 2015 01:42 am (UTC)

*huuugs*  You are doing very well progressing on the phone/ect. goal!  Give yourself credit!  Yay re: raise#

Saturday, September 26th, 2015 05:47 pm (UTC)
Hugs. I wish I was there to hit the waves back.